The ‘I am No Good’ – SYNDROME

Ever wondered what we have become now is a factor of what our near and dear ones have been telling us what we are?

Don’t think so?

Hmm… Lets see.

How many time have you been told by your parents that you should not do this as you WONT be able to do it! (see the irony? how can you learn to DO it if you are not allowed to TRY?)… See what I mean?

Don’t go near the water or you will drown! But then how can you learn to swim if you are not allowed in the water?

You cant ride that bicycle or you will fall! Logical, isn’t it?

I have seen a number of people cursing themselves that he/she has never been good at this or that… but what they don’t realize is most of the ‘limiting belief’ has been pushed down on them at a very early age…By people that LOVE and CARE for them…

With all the due respect to our elders, sometime they unknowingly do or say things that changes a child’s mindset, most of the times – forever. And all this because they love us and know ‘what is best for us’.
If only they knew…
I am sure you have examples of two brothers or sisters in a family… one of them is exceptionally bright and the other one is dumb. Ever realized that in most of the cases, the one who is called ‘dumb’ has been called that ever since anyone can remember… Why? Because Grandma, Grandpa, Uncle or Aunt stamped that word on him/her and now it is merely a self-fulfilling prophecy!
On the other hand, the ‘bright’ or ‘intelligent’ brother has been repeatedly told that he is smarter than the rest of the clan… and Lo and Behold: He IS!

Enough evidence has been around to confirm that children who have been repeatedly told that they are brilliant, become so and vice versa.

So now… the real question:

What is your limiting belief?

Is it the fear of succeeding, leaving a secured job for something that is close to you heart, doing well in life. public speaking, making friends, taking on a hobby or a passion, plain old succeeding, taking on a challenge, being happy with your life?

or plain old:

‘I AM NO GOOD’-Syndrome?

Think about it…What is stopping you… LIMITING YOU

NOTHING CAN or SHOULD stop you from what you want to achieve… 

Have a great, fulfilling life!

Nuruddin Abjani

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  • Naqiya

    I have seen alot of these people who suffer from “I am not good” syndrome plus who have created this hype in others. A person should seek special abilities which he can do better than all rather than what he cant do or thinks not his piece of cake. Thank you for the delightful post which encourages us.

    • Thanks for your kind words, Naqiya.
      Yes, its all about what you CAN do rather than what you CAN’T.
      Even if one doesnt have ‘special’ abilities, being yourself could do wonders. We just need to stop thinking about people all the time & just be ‘ME’.
      Stay blessed.

  • Salam sir,
    Hope u will be fyn and in good health…i just google for some good training providers and just read ur blogs and articles…they are really nice something we use to think and the phases we r going through…
     God Bless
    Bushra Afzal

    • Thanks Bushra. 

      Keep learning & sharing…

      Stay blessed.


  • Btsiddiqui

    i agree to you Mr Nur because i have seen enough cases around me….i totally agree that WE ARE WHAT WE THINK !!!

    • Thanks. It all begins in the mind.

      Those who understand this, rule the world.

      Stay blessed.


  • Amjad Evan

    .. Very well said SIR JEE.. Feeling more energetic 🙂 .. I think i was also suffering from this Syndrome from last few weeks…Cuz i am on job hunt after completion of my Degree and it makes me frustrated when i lose any of the opportunity…. Your blogs always work as confindence boosters for me .. thanks

    • Amjad, I am so happy that the blog is helping you to become a better human being & doubles up as a confidence booster.

      Good luck in your endeavors.

      Stay blessed.


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  • sahibkarimkhan

    I would agree with you Nuruddin & you are absolutely right on this. Our elders play a vital role in making us what we are today. For example if parents start giving their children the freedom to make decisions & let them learn from their mistakes (at the same time being there with them in case they need support or guidance) then I am sure kids will do better 🙂

    I personally believe that in today's world we need to let our future generation steer the wheel of the car called LIFE, while we sitting besides them just in case they need some help. Let them try & at times fail also, because Failure is a far better teacher then success 🙂

  • Nuruddin Abjani

    Yes, Hira, well said.. that IS the tragedy… realization is the first step towards improvement…

  • Hira Wajahat

    agreed … however, the tragedy is that we don't even realize how we torment ourselves with these limitations …

  • Reshma Charania

    so true…we need to come out of fear to live our dream

  • Nuruddin Abjani

    Most of us have gone through traumatic experiences. It is difficult, almost impossible to come out of them. But, if we don't, then we ALWAYS live our lives around that experience. So, no matter what, we NEED to get out them and live life to the fullest.
    Another point: Is there a I AM TOO GOOD SYNDROME?
    Feel free to comment, please.
    Have a great life!

  • Irfan Akbar

    No question to doubt about above words…..

    The basic point to be considered is the importance of studying a person to develop his/her personality. Our respected elders always see us to grow while wearing own lenses instead of taking up the child flavor of interest. If every parent allow and support their children what they want by nature, no question the children will be at the best of their natural abilities…

  • Anonymous

    Totally agree with Sanam, and Nurudin. Very well said…

    Something which both you failed to highlight is trauma due to bad expereince, fear of unknowns, Its not that "I am No good" but being good but few experiences come back to bite you…

  • Sanam Karamally

    WOW!!! come to think of it that is exactly what happens…indeed it is all about the power of the thought…if your thought process is restricted to the negative feedback received that is exactly what will form your belief- it's a simple rule isnt it: garbage in/ garbage out…what you put in, is what you'll get!

    i personally love the concept of "limiting belief"…the juxta position is very refreshing…belief can't be limited or else it implies that you have room for doubt and yet that is what we do to ourselves…we limit our belief thus forcing us to doubt ourselves and others!

    Amazing- Thanks!:)