Don’t Forgive – At Your OWN Peril!
I wrote an earlier postcalled “Forgive or Not To Forgive? RETHINK!” which resulted in mixedreactions. Some thought it is almost impossible to forgive, especially if theperson has hurt you deeply. And others thought it is possible to forgive but can’t forget.
If you don’t forgive, whathappens?
‘I wish she hadn’t doneit.’
‘She was such a goodfriend, HOW could she even THINK of doing it!’ (But she did, right?)
‘I trusted him with mylife, and see what he did! I will NEVER forgive him.’
‘She ruined everything Ihad, how could I ever forgive her!’
You can add as manythoughts/statements as you want here… I am sure you have better reasons thanthe ones I mentioned above for not forgiving someone…
So, now you have someoneyou deeply loved/respected/cared for etc… And he/she has hurt you badly.
Even if you don’t forgive,does it matter to him/her?
Some of them don’t evenknow they have hurt you!
(Only some of them mayhave come to you asking for forgiveness and you were KIND enough to forgive…But DIDN’T….Or did, but DIDNT forget!)
And yet, YOU are THINKINGabout the other person, WASTING your time/feelings/emotions/thoughts on someonewho is not worth thinking about! And in the process, you can not concentrate onyour own priorities. Your life. What IS working well for you. Happy things.Good friends. Family. Your self development, etc.
Instead, you keep thinkingwhy she did it. What made her do that. How could I get even. Or simply: ‘I willnever forgive you.’
All of the above only bogsyou down. Your mind, instead of paying attention to the good things happeningin your life, makes you think ONLY about this person and you FEEL that you havethe worst life in this world. And that ALL your friends/family/relatives haveALWAYS done this to you. And you can trust NO ONE…. etc. The more you think about it, the more paralyzed you feel in doing anything other than hurting your own self.
I think you understand, right?
Another way to look at it would be:
Imagine, you are in a race(isn’t life a race to most of us?), and you want to win it (you bet!). Butthere is only one change – YOU are carrying someone (preferably the person you should forgive) on your back andtrying to run as fast as you can to win the race. Since others don’t have any burden on them, they are happily running, whereas you….?
Lo and behold, YOU WINTHE RACE! Applause…..!
Oh.. you can’t win thatrace if you have to carry someone around while the others are sprinting ontheir own on the way to success…!
You can’t be free WITHOUTforgiving someone. It is in your own interest to forgive and forget.
Forgive and forget & Be happy!