7 February 2011 15 Comments

What Others Think Of You, Matters?

When was the last time you were told by someone that you are ‘no good’? (Happens with me every day, don’t know about you!)

And your mood remained off or bad for days, weeks or even months?

Just because someone told you that.

Think about it.

Why would you let someone, no matter how close that person is to you, let you feel that you are actually not good?

And how could he/she know what else is good inside you?

And that so many times you have proven how good you are… People praised you, admired you, applauded for you, gave you a raise…promotion.. et al. What happened to those times?

(Tip: It is always nice to have a list of events that made you happy. Keep a diary or a journal. You won’t regret it.)

And why would you need someone to tell you how good or bad you actually are?

Let me tell you an interesting story.

A teacher enters the class and shows everyone a 100 dollar bill. And asks ‘Who wants it?’

Of course, everyone raised hands.

The teacher crumples the note and then asks the same questions. Of course everyone still wanted $100 dollars.

Then he throws it on the ground & crushes it with his feet, without actually damaging the note. Again, the students wanted the note.

He then asks, did the value of the note go down when it was crumpled, wrinkled or crushed?

Of course NOT.

Then how could your value be diminished just because you are going through a difficult phase? Which will end very soon.

You are what you are and no one has the right to tell you any differently. Constructive criticism is good, very good…

But most people do is to belittle you. And you, of all the people, should know it.

Its good to bounce off ideas with others who like and love you, but when they begin to become negative about you, your attitudes, your dreams, your passion…Then you know the time has come to…?

And as this old Urdu adage goes:

Suno sab ki par karo apni. (Listen to everyone, but do what you think is right.)

Don’t tell others how much you are worth, they don’t know.

And in the beautiful words of this 80+ year old girl:

“What others think of you is not your problem.”

Until we believe in ourselves, no one else will.

Let them say whatever they want to.

They always will. You cannot make everyone happy. And you shouldn’t even try!

If you liked this post, you might like the following ones as well which are somewhat related:

‘I am-No-Good’ Syndrome

Do People Laugh at Your Dreams

What Will People Think? (Loag Kya Kahengey)

Have a fantastic life.

Love the life you live or live the life you love.

Shoot for the moon.

Nuruddin

Picture courtesy: Fusion Pix/Corbis

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  • http://www.facebook.com/mirza.haq Mirza Amin Ul Haq

    I would be grateful if you explain how should we deal with negative criticism. How should we react when someone is letting us down ??? Should we:
    leave that place
    get involved in an argument with them
    change the friends circle, etc.
    anything else…

    Thank you.

    • http://powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Dear Mirza Amin Ul Haq,

      Thanks for your comment.
      If one can stop worrying about what people think about them and have confidence in themselves to do what they dream of doing, success is will not be far away.
      God bless you.

      Nuruddin

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001390845961 Asad Arain Kaka’

    awesome sir :) 

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=755759618 Aazar Ali

    Nice :)
    Aazar

    • http://powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Aazar & Asad.

      God bless you.

      Nuruddin

  • Fahad Khan

    Awesome LOVE it :)

    • http://powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Fahad.
      And thanks for sharing this with your friends.
      Appreciate it.
      God bless.

    • http://www.powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Fahad.
      God bless you.

      Nuruddin

  • Anonymous

    the post was like a spark of motivation to me

    • http://powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Danial.
      God bless you, always.

    • http://www.powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Danial.

      God bless you.

      Nuruddin

  • http://twitter.com/Datelessrock Shaheen Premani

    Dear Blogger,

    Your Blogs are superb, i find it motivating, i take off time at least once a week or two weeks and read blogs such as yours.

    Although the thought behind the blog above is good but I have an opinion on this one that i thought I must share.

    The analogy that you have shared doesn’t really fit. A $100 bill value is certain, it doesn’t change in any of the cases you listed, as it remains acceptable to everyone, and that is universal truth.

    On there other hand, with time, people do change, to ascertain the value of a person in comparison to a $100 bill, over time is difficult to put in black & white is a bit tricky.

    One thinks he knows someone, but in reality he doesn’t know that person in all situations, in good times, times of difficulty, times of stress, emotionally challenged times, etc. and that is my friend the reality.

    • http://www.powerofthought.org Nuruddin Abjani

      Thanks Shaheen for the comment.

      You have a point there.

      People change over time… Their behavior changes. Of course!

      May be I was not able to explain clearly. The analogy was meant to share a particular message: Our value doesn’t go down, no matter what others say about us.

      Under stress, we all behave a little differently. But, the idea is to be our usual self.. No matter what.

      Thanks once again for sharing your thoughts.

      Pleas keep it up.

      God bless you.

      Nuruddin

  • http://the-perfect-line.blogspot.com/ Mehreen

    hello Nuruddin… I have been around your blog for quite some time now… and as a token of my appreciation for the wonderful things i get to read here, i have a small gift waiting for you at my blog… please collect it :)

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