Are You A Liar or A Diplomat?

The other day, I met a highly educated gentleman in one of the mentorship sessions for budding entrepreneurs.

The gentleman was intelligent, educated, smart & was well aware of whatever was happening in his industry. He works very hard & gets results.

Yet, he was worried that he could be fired from his job. He also felt that if he resigns today, his bosses/superiors would not ask him to continue or even ask him the reason for his leaving.

Why?

How is it possible? A hard working, smart person feeling like THAT?

After a little prodding, we came to know that the gentleman in question had a problem with lies (truth, actually!). He doesn’t like people who lie or say something & do something else. Who praise everyone on their faces and say something else behind their backs. Who don’t call a spade a spade!

Sounds familiar, right?

He would also get agitated easily about petty things that people do and get away with. I am sure you understand the sort of person this gentleman seemed to be. Honest, hardworking, sincere & straight. No-nonsense sorta guy.

I am sure you come across people like these every day, or maybe YOU are one of them.

Nothing wrong with feeling this way. The world is full of crooks, liars and bad people & we dont want to be one of them. Right?

But there is a thin line between a liar and someone who uses his words carefully & gets along with people. Which helps him grow/succeed in all directions.

Why to chose words carefully when we have been told to tell the truth, no matter what?

Simple answer: It is not lying exactly, but if you could use better words to tell the truth, its more palatable & doesn’t necessarily hurt others. Resulting in better relationships in the long run.

Some time back I wrote a post called, How You Say It Matters, which emphasizes upon our use of words. Case in point, how would you approach a person who is devoid of the ability to see this world? How would you ask him what went wrong with his eyes?

Consider these two options:

Option 1: Sir, when did you become blind?

Option 2. Sir, since when do you have this problem with your eyes?

Same question, different words. Which one will sound better to the ears? Got the idea?

The person still cant see, but the way you said it changed the situation in your favor. And he feels that someone cares for him. You would still care for him even if you used option 1. But he might not notice/feel it.

Even the kindest of deeds require a little ‘something’… Which surely tilts the situation in your favor. Even a smile could go a long way than we can imagine.

Now, superimpose the same thing to a situation with a boss or a subordinate & imagine if you could use your words a little more carefully, you could easily avoid conflicts at your workplace or even at home with your spouse, parents, siblings or gf/bf.

Try it!

Now, I am NOT asking you to start lying from today because thats the only way to survive…

Not at all!

What I AM requesting is to choose your words carefully. Just wait 2 seconds before you say what you want to say. That gap will bring positive results in no time.

You could also use it to reduce your anger by stopping & thinking before you go ballistic over an argument!

One can’t work all alone in this world. Even if you own a business, sooner or later you will still have to hire people to work with you. If you dont know how to get along with people, as a subordinate or even as a boss, you could have problems.

As someone said it beautifully, “No one can whistle a symphony, it takes an orchestra to play it.”

 You must have studied or read about Emotional Intelligence. It has been proven that a person’s EQ is more important than her IQ. Because, one could be very smart, educated & brilliant but if one doesn’t know how to get along with people, one could as well be a failure in the long run. To know more about Emotional Intelligence, click here.

But the million dollar question is not how to use it, but is it lying, or being smart or kind or a diplomat?

Thoughts?

Stay blessed.

Nuruddin

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