Ever thought why we always suffer?
And the person who has hurt us the most is the one closest to us. Right?
Think about someone?
I am sure…
Now, lets examine what the problem IS.
You have someone who you feel is a very good friend or you are in a relationship or simply engaged or married. In all of these cases, the person who has hurt you is your friend or someone very close to you.
But, is it his/her fault?
Lets examine various ways that you get hurt.
If the person says something which you think is not right, you get hurt.
Sometimes, she does something and you feel she shouldn’t have done that. Then again, you are the one who gets hurt.
Then, there is another whole dimension to it: When the person doesn’t say or do something that you thought she should’ve said or done, then again you get hurt.
Rings a bell?
Before I go on, I am sure you know what am talking about.
It is not prudent to expect things from people. Simple.
But it doesn’t seem to be easy.
Most of us know this but can’t stop ourselves from expecting and in the end… get hurt.
I don’t have a solution to ‘how to stop expecting from people you like/love’.
But I have one clue:
If the relationship is important to you, then talk to them about it. Nine out of ten cases they will say they didn’t realize it was that important to you. And most of them will apologize for not being aware of your feelings. Apology accepted. End of story. And if you are one of those who don’t forgive people, then read this post might help.
However, the problem is exacerbated when you decide not to even talk to them about it and you sulk in your own inner turmoil, whereas, the other person has no clue as to what a big sin has just been committed!
And then you also start expecting the same person to come & apologize to you for doing (or not doing) something that he didn’t know he was supposed to do (or not do!).
If you think about it, the logic here is very simple.
But since we want to make it complicated, it becomes as complicated as we want to make it!
And in the end, the relationship becomes weak & may break if this goes on for a long time.
This could help:
Life is too short to hold grudges. Especially against people you love.
Cherish people in your life, they may not be here tomorrow.
You may not be here…
No one is perfect. Including YOU.
Holding regrets doesn’t help, forgive people. It helps you more.
Talk to people if you think they have done something wrong. You will realize how most of them care for you.
And if some don’t, then let them be happy. Be happy for them.
Picture courtesy: thesocialmediaguide.posterous.com